Confronting Family of Origin and Inferiority Complex Issues
Our lives are often shaped by our beginnings. Some of us crave for the nostalgic memories and experiences of the past and some of us are fearful or run away from the past. There are numerous books and articles on the difficulty of confronting family of origin issues, and why many of us have some form of hidden guilt. ‘Family of origin’ meaning the family you grew up with and primarily the relationship with our parents and/or siblings. Many people suffer from some form of hidden guilt or negative experience from the past. Some of us suffer with this throughout our lives, allowing it to sabotage or hold us back from achieving our true dreams and capabilities. There is a fascinating book called Imaginary Crimes – Why We Punish Ourselves and How To Stop by Lewis Engel, PhD and Tom Ferguson, M.D. that examines these types of issues in depth.
The most obvious issue many of us face is some form of inferiority complex where we seek to overcompensate for perceived weaknesses, resulting in either tremendous success or extremely antisocial behavior. Over-compensating can result in a superiority complex that offends people around us. Those who do not address the complex at all can suffer from low self-esteem and weak confidence levels.
My personal guilt or inferiority complex was a feeling that I could have achieved more and a lack of fulfillment from what I had actually accomplished. In many ways, I have accomplished a lot and have much to be grateful for, with a happy, healthy family, a fun challenging job, working with great people and making a good living, but there was something missing. Writing this book has made me view life, happiness and success in a different way. It has been therapeutic and I feel my complex has been alleviated.
What’s your personal guilt or complex?